Sunday, November 17, 2013

Can I give this up?

Some people don’t realize everything they have to give up once they have this surgery- These are the things I think about often. As a fat chick, I love food. I considered going to culinary school after high school, but decided that a Theater and English degree was the smarter decision (enter sarcasm here.)

One of the main things I am going to miss is desserts- one of my favorite desserts is triple chocolate cake with my Grandma’s homemade buttercream frosting- and by buttercream frosting, I mean frosting that is made out of sugar, crisco, and butter. I could eat gallons of this stuff. In my boyfriends family, we eat a lot of apple pie- that is his mother’s specialty- and it is loaded with sugar. And brownies, oh the brownies. 
 
The other main issue I am having to deal with is the possibility of not being able to eat pasta. My dad’s side of the family is Italian, and my boyfriend’s family thinks they are Italian, so we eat a lot of pasta. This is a staple in my house, and has been since I can remember. I just recently learned how to make homemade spaghetti sauce and I love it. Granted- I know I’d at least be able to eat the meatballs- but I want PASTA!
 
My mom can have some kinds of pasta now, but it isn’t the same. I could be fine with pasta, who knows. But that’s the point- I won’t know until I have the surgery- I won’t know how I will react to certain things, and being the control freak that I am is scared of the unknown. What if my favorite things now make me sick?
 
The biggest disappointment I have found, is that even three years later, my mom still occasionally feels icky after having my dad’s barbecue sauce. This is the best sauce you will ever have- it reminds me of Sweet Baby Ray’s- just to get your juices flowing here. But it is LOADED with brown sugar. I put this stuff on EVERYTHING- chicken, pork, ribs, pulled pork, WHITE RICE (yes, it’s weird, but it’s SO delicious)
 
Food is a big part of my life. It isn’t just to live off of, this is what we base all of our social gatherings around, what we base our holidays off of, and I cook for pleasure. Will this surgery take that away from me? Will I hate to cook because I can no longer enjoy the things I used to? Or, will this open my eyes to new things?

This is the question I keep asking myself: Is it worth it?

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