Next week is the weight loss surgery seminar that my friend Meaghan wants me to go to. It is supposed to be very informational and it will answer a lot of questions that I still have about the surgery.
I have given my self until the seminar to make my decision on if I am going to have the surgery or not. I want to be well-informed before making the decision. Becides the books I have read and the personal relationship I have with two people who had the RNY gastric bypass, I have started to go on support sites. I am apart of one Facebook support site, and I have also been toying with the idea of looking for a gastric bypass forum to read more about the struggles real people are going through. While I find the success stories wonderful, I am more interested in the struggles. I want to know what I am getting myself into. I don’t want to go into this thinking this is going to be a miracle and that it is going to be easy. I want to know how hard it is going to be, how much work it is going to be, otherwise it would be like going in blind. I think I have an advantage over some people, because I really do know a lot. I am also an obsessive researcher and I need to know all of the information FIRST. I have a feeling I scare the shit out of myself more then keep myself informed.
I am really nervous about telling people, and how they are going to react. Everyone I have told so far has been very supportive, but I don’t know what they are really thinking. Do they think I am taking the easy way out? Will they look at me differently? I don’t want anyone to think that I have no self-control, or that I am lazy. I work out, I do Zumba- I eat right. I have worked very hard to try to lose weight and maintain a weight loss. But isn’t necessarily about being thin. It’s about being healthy, feeling comfortable, and being able to live my life as long as I can.
I am pretty sure I am a hypochondriac and I worry constantly about my health and if I am going to die. I worry about having a heart attack because I am overweight. My blood pressure medication makes my heart race from time to time, and I lay in bed thinking, “Nate (my boyfriend) is going to find me dead in the morning because I am going to have a heart attack, right now.” Obviously, I am fine. But I still worry.
I also really want to be able to hike and mountain climb easier. Nate and I are outdoorsy, and I am always hesitant to go on a hike or anything too strenuous because I am so embarrassed by how out of breath I am. Physically, I can do it. But I am huffing and puffing the whole way, and it isn’t enjoyable when I am gasping for breath the entire time. I want to be able to hike up to a mountain peak and be able to think about how beautiful it is up there, rather than to take in as much air as possible before I pass out.
I really have to start thinking fast. I will be making up my mind about the rest of my life in a week.
But before I do that, I am going to stuff my face with Thankgiving dinner, possibly for the last time.
Gobble Gobble!!
I have given my self until the seminar to make my decision on if I am going to have the surgery or not. I want to be well-informed before making the decision. Becides the books I have read and the personal relationship I have with two people who had the RNY gastric bypass, I have started to go on support sites. I am apart of one Facebook support site, and I have also been toying with the idea of looking for a gastric bypass forum to read more about the struggles real people are going through. While I find the success stories wonderful, I am more interested in the struggles. I want to know what I am getting myself into. I don’t want to go into this thinking this is going to be a miracle and that it is going to be easy. I want to know how hard it is going to be, how much work it is going to be, otherwise it would be like going in blind. I think I have an advantage over some people, because I really do know a lot. I am also an obsessive researcher and I need to know all of the information FIRST. I have a feeling I scare the shit out of myself more then keep myself informed.
I am really nervous about telling people, and how they are going to react. Everyone I have told so far has been very supportive, but I don’t know what they are really thinking. Do they think I am taking the easy way out? Will they look at me differently? I don’t want anyone to think that I have no self-control, or that I am lazy. I work out, I do Zumba- I eat right. I have worked very hard to try to lose weight and maintain a weight loss. But isn’t necessarily about being thin. It’s about being healthy, feeling comfortable, and being able to live my life as long as I can.
I am pretty sure I am a hypochondriac and I worry constantly about my health and if I am going to die. I worry about having a heart attack because I am overweight. My blood pressure medication makes my heart race from time to time, and I lay in bed thinking, “Nate (my boyfriend) is going to find me dead in the morning because I am going to have a heart attack, right now.” Obviously, I am fine. But I still worry.
I also really want to be able to hike and mountain climb easier. Nate and I are outdoorsy, and I am always hesitant to go on a hike or anything too strenuous because I am so embarrassed by how out of breath I am. Physically, I can do it. But I am huffing and puffing the whole way, and it isn’t enjoyable when I am gasping for breath the entire time. I want to be able to hike up to a mountain peak and be able to think about how beautiful it is up there, rather than to take in as much air as possible before I pass out.
I really have to start thinking fast. I will be making up my mind about the rest of my life in a week.
But before I do that, I am going to stuff my face with Thankgiving dinner, possibly for the last time.
Gobble Gobble!!
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