I am sitting here trying to write in this blog. I was trying to write about how lately I think my body is subconsciously preparing myself for life after the surgery. As I am writing all I can hear is BLAH BLAH WHINE WHINE I’M FAT BLAH BLAH.
People get sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. Shit, I’M kind of getting sick of writing about it. But at this point, I have nothing to do but wait and think, think and wait until I can actually get this process started. I am at a place now that I just want it to be done. I am the kind of person when I get an idea in my head, I bust my ass until is done, so I can sit back and look at me work and remind myself how awesome I am. That’s what I want to do now. I just want to get all of this done with and get the surgery so I can start my journey. I am done feeling the way I feel all the time.
I was showing a friend of mine some old photo’s of me, when I was at my skinniest. I can remember how I felt during that time, and I want to get back there. I want to feel GOOD about myself, and feel good about the life I am leading. All I am doing right now is working working working and trying to make money for all these other things that are pending in my life.
Do you ever look at your life and think, I am sick of waiting for my life to start? That’s how I feel right now. So many things in my life are being put on hold for this surgery, and I just want it over with. I want to live my life!
This isn’t about being skinny. I’ll never be skinny, I have come to terms with that. And I don’t need to be skinny to be happy. I need to be less fat, healthy and full of energy.
So anyway- I really think that I have subconsciously been preparing myself for life after surgery. I’ve craved a lot of soup, my portions are small, and I have been very sensitive to texture. I couldn’t eat a piece of pumpkin pie today because it felt gross.
***CONNECTION*** I am so ready for this surgery, that I am already starting to eat like it. DING DING DING- good job brain! I actually put two and two together today. IT’S A MIRACLE.
As you can see, it is a bit of a struggle today for my brain to think. It’s been snowing non stop since Saturday, and I have a 45 minute commute home later. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow since I arrived this morning. My brain is already in vacation mode since my boyfriend and I will be traveling to Michigan on Saturday to spend a week there for Christmas. So as you can see, I have a lot on my mind.
The view from my office window:
Good thing I have all wheel drive! It pays to be prepared right?
I also have been trying to get together a list of things I am going to need after the surgery. I asked for a blender for Christmas because I figured I would be making a lot of shakes and stuff. My next post, I’ll add a list of items I will be getting, hopefully I can get some feedback on what is good, bad, or nasty!!
People get sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. Shit, I’M kind of getting sick of writing about it. But at this point, I have nothing to do but wait and think, think and wait until I can actually get this process started. I am at a place now that I just want it to be done. I am the kind of person when I get an idea in my head, I bust my ass until is done, so I can sit back and look at me work and remind myself how awesome I am. That’s what I want to do now. I just want to get all of this done with and get the surgery so I can start my journey. I am done feeling the way I feel all the time.
I was showing a friend of mine some old photo’s of me, when I was at my skinniest. I can remember how I felt during that time, and I want to get back there. I want to feel GOOD about myself, and feel good about the life I am leading. All I am doing right now is working working working and trying to make money for all these other things that are pending in my life.
Do you ever look at your life and think, I am sick of waiting for my life to start? That’s how I feel right now. So many things in my life are being put on hold for this surgery, and I just want it over with. I want to live my life!
This isn’t about being skinny. I’ll never be skinny, I have come to terms with that. And I don’t need to be skinny to be happy. I need to be less fat, healthy and full of energy.
So anyway- I really think that I have subconsciously been preparing myself for life after surgery. I’ve craved a lot of soup, my portions are small, and I have been very sensitive to texture. I couldn’t eat a piece of pumpkin pie today because it felt gross.
***CONNECTION*** I am so ready for this surgery, that I am already starting to eat like it. DING DING DING- good job brain! I actually put two and two together today. IT’S A MIRACLE.
As you can see, it is a bit of a struggle today for my brain to think. It’s been snowing non stop since Saturday, and I have a 45 minute commute home later. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow since I arrived this morning. My brain is already in vacation mode since my boyfriend and I will be traveling to Michigan on Saturday to spend a week there for Christmas. So as you can see, I have a lot on my mind.
The view from my office window:
Good thing I have all wheel drive! It pays to be prepared right?
I also have been trying to get together a list of things I am going to need after the surgery. I asked for a blender for Christmas because I figured I would be making a lot of shakes and stuff. My next post, I’ll add a list of items I will be getting, hopefully I can get some feedback on what is good, bad, or nasty!!
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