Thursday, December 12, 2013

I have a disease

Obesity is a disease.

This is what I learned from my seminar. Me being overweight isn’t necessarily all my fault. There is medical proof that I just “don’t have any self-control.” I don’t have to feel like a failure because I couldn’t lose weight “normally.” I don’t have to feel like I’m just a pig who can’t stop eating HoHo’s. (Honestly, I haven’t had a hoho in like 12 years)

Don’t get me wrong, my behavior is apart of it. Eating the wrong things, and not exercising contributes to it. I am not saying the things I do and don’t do aren’t reasons in my fatness. But it’s also based on social, behavioral, cultural, physiological, metabolic and genetic factors.The fact that I have obesity on both sides of my family is a large reason why I am big today, and why I can’t keep off the weight I lose.

There is a great artical in the Huffington Post about a man to yo-yoed all his life- he went from 200, to over 400 and back down to 200 lbs. This is what he had to say about obesity,
I am going to live the rest of my life with obesity. I preach to many that you can live a healthy life with obesity. Obesity has been hard, but I will never deny that I do not have obesity. It is a disease that has no cure.

But I fight like hell every day to live with it and to stay healthy.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tony-posnanski/obesity-disease_b_4303347.html

I will struggle with obesity all of my life, even after I have surgery. “This is not a magic bullet.” My surgeon said.

He is right. I am going to have to work harder then I ever have after I have this surgery. But what this surgery is going to give me is the tool to do that. Right now, I do Zumba twice a week, I eat healthy, I watch my portions, and I am staying the same. Based on my weight, my family history and my health, losing weight with diet and exercise (And keeping it off) is impossible. After the surgery, I will be able to exercise without being in pain. Everyime I start my zumba class my back starts to hurt, my ankles hurt, and by the time it’s over I am dead. I do it twice a week because I know its healthy for me. But if I could do it without pain, I think I could sweat more, and lose more calories.

This is NOT an excuse. I am sick of reading articles about how fat people just need to stop eating so much, and listening to people say how fat people just need to get up an exercise. You have NO IDEA what its like to be fat if you aren’t fat. I am not a binge eater. Yes- sometimes I eat foods that aren’t good for me. Yes- I eat cake at birthday parties. But doesn’t everyone? Aren’t I allowed to be a human too and enjoy things? Why is it that because i’m fat I can’t have a damn oreo. OREO’S ARE GOOD! I shouldn’t have to live off celery for the rest of my life!

When I eat healthy, I do lose weight. I work very hard. But if I have one treat- one dinner of pizza or a slice of pie, I gain half of what I just lost back. Can you imagine how frustrating that is? To work so hard, and do so well, and because of one meal it is ruined?
This is how backsliding occures. This is why I can’t lose weight or keep it off. I am done with that. I am done yoyoing through life.

My consultation for my surgery is on January 6th. I am having a gastric bypass.

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