Thursday, March 6, 2014

If we lived in a world of famine, you’d live.

So I have been putting off this post, only because this doctor was so mean and hurtful, I don’t really want to relive it. But I wanted to document everything and that means the good and the bad.

On February 20th I had my appointment with my “Nutritionist.” I say this term loosely because he is not a nutritionist, and I don’t even know why my surgeon wants me to see him. He is a doctor for preventive medicine, and is the only doctor I don’t have a choice on seeing. I HAVE to see him to be approved.

I was already nervous because I had been warned by my friend Meaghan that he was an asshole and fat hater, and also by my surgeon that there is a 50/50 shot I would like him.
I went to this office, that was EMPTY, and waited for a while to even go into the room.

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When I went into the room, the nurse came in and took down my information, and you could tell she didn’t want to be there and kept wrinkling her forehead on her laptop that didn’t want to work. Off to a great start.

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Meaghan told me he was going to make me wait, because he is the almighty doctor and he sees you on his own time. Due to this knowledge, I found this newspaper clip he had in the room to be VERY ironic.

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So he comes in and I try to shake his hand, he gives me a limp wrist and it almost looked like he wanted me to kiss it the way he was holding it. He didn’t make eye contact with me at all, and made me feel very uncomfortable. He started asking me more questions about my family history and my health. Then he gets into what I eat. What do you usually eat in a day?

I don’t fucking know- I like variety in my life. It depends on my mood, on my diet, if i’m pmsing, if I’m on vacation, if I’m sick. Seriously, who knows what they eat USUALLY! So I told him what I eat, and he looks at me (This is the first time, BTW he has looked at me at all) and said “Then why have you gained so much weight.”

I wanted to punch him in the face and say “WELL YOU’RE THE DOCTOR, YOU TELL ME!!”
I didn’t. We got through it and I told him I have a portion control problem, especially when it comes to carbs. If I go for seconds, it’s for rice or pasta or potatoes. I told him in general, I eat heathy, I don’t snack on chips or cookies, but yes I have been known to eat them. I do like to induldge, but I try not to do it often.

I wanted to say, “I am not eating 6000 calories a day like most FAT PEOPLE you know DOCTOR!” Because this is what he is expecting to hear, that I have cereal, a bagel, an omelet, grits, a pound of bacon, and potatoes for breakfast, a big mac, a mcchicken, and a filet o fish, fries and soda for lunch, and 5 burritos for dinner. Well guess what, I DON’T.
Wow sorry I went off a little there.

Then he starts to talk, and show me what a genius he is. He is talking about random shit that has nothing to do with my surgery or my life. He tells me that our brains our ingrained to eat food with high fat content, because when we were cave men we didn’t know when our next meal would be. So we eat and eat and eat because we think we need to, but in reality there is a McDonald’s right down the street. He said to me, “If we lived in a world of famine, you’d live.” GEE THANKS DOCTOR ALMIGHTY!

He continues this bullshit for a while. He asks me about my goals. I tell him I’d love to be 150lbs, but i’d be happy even if I lost 50. He looks at me (only the second time, btw) and says, “Well what would be the point of the surgery if you only lost 50 lbs? That isn’t a success story.” Look doc- I just want to be healthy, not be a fashion model.

He told me he thought my goal to be 150lbs is a great goal, and that he thinks I’ll reach it. He thought my weight loss goal of 10-15lbs by my surgeon wasn’t enough, and told me he’d like to see 15-25. He said that I will have a higher success rate during and after the surgery the more weight I lose, so that it will shrink my liver, prepare me for after my surgery, and it will be easier for my surgeon. Less risk.

The rest of the appointment was boring, more of Dr. Holierthenthou spouting more bullshit. He wants me to see a dietician so I know what kind of foods to eat after my surgery, and gave me a diet to stick to.

I decided after looking at the diet, that I wasn’t going to do his diet, and started Atkins instead. I was going to do this on my own without any help from the fat hater.
Of course, that weekend was my birthday weekend, so my boyfriend and I lived it up and went to Lake Placid for the weekend. I had my last hurrah! I decided to forget about the pompus prick and enjoyed my birthday.

Aren’t we cute???
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