The first week and a half I lost 10 lbs. I was so stoked and excited about my weight loss, and felt really good about myself for doing so well. I worked really hard on eating right, eating often, and exercising. I counted my carbs and calories every day, ate my veggies and lean protein. I decided the next Friday that since I had done so well, and since I still had three more weeks to lose 5 lbs, that I deserved a cheat day.
Nate and I went to our bar we always go to for Trivia night. I had a no carb drink- dirty martini
(yum yum)
They had a special on the board for seafood ravioli with grilled shrimp.
I wanted it, so I got it. Keep in mind, I hadn’t had pasta or anything like that in a week and a half.
When it came out, I had three large ravioli stuffed with seafood, a cream sauce, and grilled shrimp. As far as a carb meal, it wasn’t that bad, as there wasn’t much “noodle” to eat. I also had a few bites of the garlic bread because… well it’s fucking garlic bread and it’s amazing.
I felt SO sick after I ate it. I don’t know if it was the carbs, the cream sauce, the seafood, the drink, or a combo of some/all of those, but I thought I was going to get sick. Knowing what happens to me when I get sick
(Please see http://mybigfatsurgery.blogspot.com/2014/11/endoscopy.html to read about my broken blood vessels)
I really did not want to do that. So I suffered through that night, ate tums, and hoped it would go away by morning.
Well, it didn’t really. I felt a little icky all day, and barely ate.
I really screwed myself for the rest of the week, apparently, because I did not lose a POUND for the next week. I have been so frustrated with myself, I haven’t cheated since then, but the scale hasn’t moved. Oh no wait, I lied. I GAINED two lbs. I swear my scale is plotting against me.
So this week, I haven’t stepped on the scale. My friend Meaghan told me not to weigh myself until Friday, and that she PROMISES that if I do that (and continue to work hard and stick to my diet) that I’ll drop 5 lbs. I am skeptacle, but I am going to do it.
I do think it is finally working, because today my jeans that are usually tight, were not so tight. I may even go home and put on a pair of jeans that are a smaller size then what I usually wear, just to see if they will button.
I am very stressed out about this, because if I don’t lose this weight, then I have to hear a lecture from Dr. Asshole, and then I’ll have to wait ANOTHER month to get my date.
And why the hell wouldn’t I be losing weight? I literally eat meat and veggies ALL DAY LONG. This is the easiest/hardest diet I have gone on, because everything I know about health and wellness is down the tubes right now. I know how to be healthy and eat healthy, which is why I want to have the surgery. I know I can be successful after I have a jump start. I know how to do it. But being on a “diet” is where I get fucked up. I know whats healthy, and I just want to be able to do that in my lifestyle.
It’s times like these that my qualms about the surgery go away.
In other very good news, a very good friend who is doing this journey with me got her surgery date today. I am so excited for her to start this amazing transformation!
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