This is the first appointment in this whole process I actually enjoyed.
Dr. Wardle is a very nice woman in her 60’s, she is calm and very interesting. She is a classically trained chef, and has more cookbooks in her house then I have ever seen. We met at her home office this morning and had a nice chat.
She started out by telling me a few stories of past patients going through bariatric surgery, to kind of show me what not to do. She told me about a man who decided he knew better about his body then his doctors after having a gastric bypass. He ate an entire sub sandwich, and it ended up rupturing his stomach and he died. There was a woman who was having the surgery because her husband told her he would leave her if she didn’t. And of course the stories of people thinking this was going to be a magic wand and POOF they’d be thin and perfect and then their lives would be perfect.
I felt in the beginning of this appointment, as I do with most of my appointments, that the doctors go into these appointments thinking people have no idea about this surgery, and they treat every patient like they are dumb. I have done a lot of research, I have two very close people in my life that have had the surgery, and I know a lot about it. I also have a very good friend who is doing this process with me, and I have learned a lot from her as well. I want to just tell them right off the bat; I know it isn’t a magic wand, I know my life isn’t going to be perfect when I lose weight, I know I am going to have to work hard and change my entire life. Why would I go though all this bullshit if I didn’t know that? This has been the most aggravating, stressful process I have ever had to go through, and I do NOT want to go through it again. I don’t understand the people who don’t take this seriously, and why they are even approved if they don’t know what this means to have this surgery.
Then she starts asking me about myself. I tell her about Nate, and my mom, and my good friend Meaghan. We go over some of my previous attempts at losing weight, and how I felt when I lost a lot of weight. She called me out on something that I know of myself, but I never thought it was something that could sabotage my surgery. She told me that I make excuses about being too busy. She said, “You just need to make the time. Everyone has the same amount of hours in the day, you just have to use yours differently to make what is important the top of the list.”
I really heard that. I know I procrastinate-that is my biggest flaw. I have always said, if I had a magically genie and he granted me one wish, it would be that I wasn’t a procrastinator any longer. I could be in the job I really want/love, I may be a bit thinner, and I’d be successful. I put things off and say I am too busy, and I really do hate that about myself- but I am really glad she called me out on it. It really made me take a look at my life and I see the excuses for not exercising or not eating right. I don’t want to make those anymore. I want to go to the gym even if I worked until 7:00. I want to make myself a healthy lunch every day even if I have to stay up late or get up early. I want my life to change.
I am done making excuses.
I will make time.
Follow up:
Again, I really enjoyed Dr. Wardle. She went over briefly what we talked about in our previous session, and she wrote up my approval letter to send to Dr. Trevedi, my surgeon. In a nutshell, she said that I am a passionate person and am perfect for this surgery. I have done a lot of research and I understand that this is going to be a lifestyle change and not a “magic wand.” She feels that I am going to be very successful with this surgery based on my attitude, support, and knowledge. In her closing, she stated how pleased she was to recommend such a deserving person. I really felt good about my appointment with her, and it gave me the strength to realize that I can do this, and I will be successful at it.
Since I spoke with her the first time, I have made an effort to make time for the things that are important. Right now, those things are making my breakfast and lunch. Some days are better then others, but I am goin to continue to work on myself, and not just my outward appearance
I am feeling really good
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the dietician, so hopefully she can give me some good tips about eating right!
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