As my surgery got closer I began to get anxious, then excited, then nervous, then down right scared, then almost calm. Now, I am really not sure how I feel. I think I may be all of these things rolled into its own little ball of emotion that could burst at any point. Today was the first day I woke up with butterflies in my stomach.
It’s my last day of work until September, but since most people don’t work on Saturdays I was saying “See Ya Later” to all my friends at work on Friday. I realized that day I have so many friends supporting me with this surgery. I think that maybe that is another emotion I am having, the overwhelming love and support from everyone. Even people I haven’t spoken to in years are reading my blog, and sending me words of encouragement. It is really amazing and wonderful, there isn’t really a good way to describe it.
Going through something like this, you don’t really expect that. There is a lot of controversy surrounding this surgery, which I’ve addressed a lot in here. Many people thing this surgery is laziness, or gluttony. For some people it could be those things. All I can say it what is it for me, and it just amazes me that the people who really support me say it loud and proud, and for those who don’t have kept quiet. Honestly, I really appreciate both the support, and the quietness of those who don’t. The last thing I need so close to my date is negativity rearing its ugly head into my already unstable brain. I think the only reason I have gotten this far without going bat shit crazy is all my friends and family being there for me.
I am so grateful and I feel so blessed that I have such wonderful people in my life to keep me positive and sane. The past 6 months have been a struggle, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am ready for the next stage of my life.
So to all of you, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You all have been apart of this journey, and I cannot even begin express my gratitude toward all of you.
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