I wish I knew...

During this whole process, I have been going on different bariatric post forums and Facebook groups, and I found something really interesting to me. One site had a compilation of everything they “wish they knew” before the surgery. I got a few myself from other people I know who have had the surgery and from the Facebook groups. Some of these are sad, some are inspirational, and some are just really funny.

I wanted to share these with all of you so you can see that this surgery hard, wonderful, and life changing.

I wish I knew…
how hard it would be to eat and get the protein in.
how hard it is to drink constantly.

I wish I had known not to overbuy the supplements, but rather to stock up on tea, cocoa powder, and dry milk.

I wish I’d been warned how emotional I’d be too & that sticking to fluids only is psychologically very difficult; if you used to be a “foodie”. I wish I’d known how tired & weak I would be, just having a shower would exhaust me in the early days & I’d have to have a rest!

How much I actually thought about food! I didn’t understand why I was so obese, I honestly thought I ate pretty well most of the time.

I wish I had known that I was not saying good-bye to food, but just setting new boundaries in our relationship.

I wish I had known that I would like my body more and more with clothes on and less and less naked as I get smaller.

I wish I had known the REAL reason why I was doing it – which had nothing to do with losing weight, but was about reclaiming my life.

I wish I had known that the way I felt the first month post-op was temporary. Maybe it was better that I went in not knowing how truly awful I was going to feel for a while.
 
Looking back on it, it passed quickly, but they don’t call it hell week for nothing.

Some people like you better fat and don’t know how to deal with you skinny
I was at 185, but I let a remark throw me off. Someone said ” Oh God, your cheeks are all sunk in, you look terrible”.

So I purposely gained 35 lbs. regretting it now. I am dieting again to get back to 185. That is where I have no gut, naturally. Other wise, I lost 175 lbs…So, don’t let a remark get to you.

No one told me that you could become depressed and an emotional wreck; I wish they had, so I could have been prepared for it.

Like any loss, you go through stages of grief (denial, pain, anger, depression, acceptance). Just like any other loss, everyone goes through these at different paces, you can be in more than one at a time, you can pass through one on to another and then go back to one you’ve already been through.

I wish I had known I would love the person I would become, and that I had worth. It would have saved a lot of tears, if I had known that. The tears, though, are part of the reason I became this person. Without being fat, and without GBS as a catalyst for the implosion of my entire life post-op, I would not have as much respect for the person I have become.

It took years, I realize now as I look back, for me to work through all those things in my head, heart and soul that were deeply affected by being fat. All the weight that I wanted to lose was gone in under a year, but it took MUCH longer to adapt my eyes to see my new self.

I can’t get a blind NG tube put in and I think this requires a medical bracelet

I felt emotional, didn’t know y at the time but now I know i was hormonal due to the rapid weight loss

I wish I realized how much I really loved food.

I wish I woulda known this would be the best damn decision ever so I coulda made it earlier.

I wish I knew there was problems with the iron absorbing

That regain is possible and very easy to happen.

How hard this process was going to be, and how frustrating it is. I may not have stuck it out if I knew before-hand…

I wish I knew not everyone loses the hunger or appetite hormone, I wish I knew I wouldn’t dump, I wish I knew I’d have constipation issues a lot, I wish I knew I’d still have to rely on myself not to graze all day and that I’d still have to count my calories and be mindful of how much I eat.

That after the surgery for the FIRST time since I was 14 (I’m now 47) I have gone 4 months without the migraines that I suffered from. Wondering now if it was all sugar related because I was a carb junkie!! Don’t really have time for bread and pasta because the calories and lack of protein make if a waste of time to eat.

Head hunger is REAL!

I wished I would have know what level of commitment this new lifestyle was going to take!

I wish I`d known that I would still have the urge to comfort eat (ONLY DONE IT ONCE NEVER AGAIN I LEARNT MY LESSON) even though it`s sometimes hard, I don`t regret having it done

I wish I knew that I would have a lot of complications and needed several revisions….. I would have still done wls, but done things differently

A few days post op I started crying. I found out it’s due to weight loss. I got meds to help. The first week or two truly can suck. You will wonder why you were ever excited to have this done. It will pass and you will slide into a new normal. You will like yourself because for the first time you KNOW you are making a positive health change. Counting protein grams and fluid ounces and vitamin popping are HARD in the first several weeks, but do get easier. You will be aware of your pouch most of the time until you are thoroughly healed.

I guess I thought I would always have soft/loose stools after surgery but in reality I suffer from constipation most of the time

Emotional aspect is something the professional’ s didn’t warn me about, mental health is so very important with this lifestyle change

I would have liked to be better prepared for emotional roller coasters

How hard it is to stay on track and not eat bad foods.

Old habits can & will creep back in

 

The crazy emotions, the hair loss and the random pains I get

About how severely you could lose your hair

That I’d feel nausea every day and even the thought of food would make me gag.

That weight loss/maintenance is still an every day, every minute demon for me

I wish I learned to love my body before the surgry, so I would love it after too.

Wish I’d known the true meaning of emotional roller coaster. Also wish I knew what I was truly capable of… never knew I’d come as far as I have- but also didn’t think I’d have issues with my skin

I wish I would have known how hard the first few weeks would have been….but I still would have done it

I wish i had known..just how painful the first weeks would be both physically and mentally..then i wish i had known that my husband would be jut beside himself with my results. then i wish i had known I would develop almost an aversion to food.. and then i wish i had known about how to get it done sooner. i feel like i wasted a lot of time battling the weight and feeling bad about myself…

How my hormones where going to go absolutely crazy!!!! From 3 months out to today they are a mess, there where days I really though I was going crazy. Than there is no way to know exactly how this is gonna affect people.

It’s no picnic in the beginning and no matter what surgery you have done, it is a tool, not the solution. It still requires some dedication and restraint. There is no surgery that will erase all weight with no work. You will not be alone!

1 approval to go

Well as some of you know, I had my appointment with my NEW Nutritionist on Monday April 14th.

I really like her, and I got a lot of good information out of her. I am actually looking forward to a follow-up with her and I think she will really be able to help me be successful.

I stayed at goal for a total of 16.8 lbs lost when I weighed in with her. I was very nervous and didn’t eat at all until after my appointment. We talked a little about after surgery food, found out some things I didn’t know, but overall she was happy with my knowledge of the surgery and diet after surgery.

So then we get into my weight loss. Originally when I went to see Dr. Trivedi, he told me to maintain my weight until I saw Dr. Lemanski, because that is what they would base everything from. So I stopped working out (and pretty much ate whatever I wanted) so I was 5 pounds heavier when I weighed in with Lemandki. The nutritionist was basing her decision on that I weighed at Dr. Trivedi’s appointment and not Dr. Lemanski’s appointment . The good thing is, that I was still at an 11.8 lb loss from my appointment with Dr. Trivedi. (He only needed me to lose 10-15, Dr. Lemanski wanted me to lose 15-25.)

So Beth (my NUT) and I were talking and she told me she’d like to see me lose another 5 lbs- I said,
“Yeah, no problem, I’ll do that before the surgery easy.”
Then she says, “No, Before I approve you.”

I was stunned. This is my last appointment that I need for approval, and I have to jump through more hoops? I lost the weight I needed to, I will continue to lose weight, I need SOMEONE to be on my side.

I just sat there, looking stunned, and she must have realized in that moment I was not expecting that answer. She said,
“I am your last appointment for approval aren’t I.”
“Yes,” I said, “I’ve busted my butt to get everything completed and worked really hard to lose the weight I did.” I also explained that I was basing everything on what I weighed at Dr. Lemanski’s, and that I lost 16.8 lbs!

After we talked a bit, and she realized that Trivedi set 10-15 lbs and I reached that goal, she decided to approve me. I did a little dance inside my head, and thanked her up and down. She told me she would send the approval letter to Trivedi that day. But she still wanted me to lose more weight, and we’ll have a follow up soon.

So now it’s been a week, I’ve relaxed a bit with my eating and I think I am going to change gears a little. I am going to start eating more accurately to what I’ll be eating after surgery. Still low carb, but not as extreme as I was before, and I want to do a more low-fat approach too.

I just called my surgeons office. They have the paperwork but it hasn’t been sent out to my insurance company yet. That is the last thing I am waiting for, I need my insurance to approve everything so I can get my date. Hopefully I’ll only have to wait another week or so! I am so excited!

Old Jeans are better then New Jeans

Today, I put on a pair of jeans that I haven’t worn in over a year.

I’ve lost 17 lbs and for the first time I am looking forward to my weigh in appointment.
I have figured out how to recognize bored eating, and hungry eating. Working out is still hard because of my ankles and feet, but once I lose more weight I think it will go really well.

I am so happy today, I have had a smile on my face pretty much all day, and I am so proud of myself. I have lost more weight before, but I honestly have never felt more accomplished. I feel so good about my self and my life, and how hard I am working for this. I feel myself changing as a person, the way I look at food, the way I see things. This has been such an enlightening experience, and I am glad I started doing this before my weight loss surgery so I could really grasp my feelings and emotions about everthing.

Even though this has been a frustrating experience, I have a feeling that after this whole thing is over, I’m going to be grateful that I went through it. And would probably do it all over again if given the same choice.

Unfortunately, since this is a public blog and I’d be afraid of losing my job, I cannot post anything about the process on trying to get this time off for my surgery and about a few frustrations I have had. But if anyone has questions in private I’d be happy to discuss them.

 

 

But look! Putting on old jeans is SO much better then buying new jeans.

 

GOAL!!!

I don’t have much to update, but I wanted to drop a line anyway.

For those who didn’t read my previous post after I had an update, I have my new weigh in date on 4/14- AND I don’t have to see Dr. fuckface.

I have reached my first goal of -15 lbs. My new goal is to lose another few lbs, but I’d love to be at -20 by Monday for my appointment. The reason for this is so I absolutely know I am on goal even if I am a little bloated that day.

I am counting the days when I can have a glass of my favorite wine!

gggrrrrrrr

So I have good news and not so good news.

The good news is, I called my surgeons office on Friday, and they told me that I didn’t have to go back and see Dr. Fat-hater, and I could see one of the dietician instead. Yay! Thank GOD- it took a TON of stress off me.

The not so good news is.. I don’t have a date for my appointment with my dietician. They haven’t called me yet, and I am about to lay some smack down. I need a goal date! I am down 14 lbs and i’d like to get down to at least 20 by then!

I already have an appointment with another dietician on 4/10, and if worse comes to worse i’ll ask if she can just weigh me in. But I am getting beyond frustrated with this process- there has to be an easier way!

I also finally got my pulmonary appointment to do a breathing test, and a screening to do my sleep study. That isn’t until May 8th, but I hope to have my date before that.

All in all, this is the only way I can express how I feel about this process:



UPDATE!!!: My weigh in appointment is April 14th, they just called me!!